Thursday, January 12, 2012

12 01 2012

Why is getting below 200 such an elusive goal? It isn’t as if I haven’t been working at it. It isn’t like I’ve strayed from a committed path. I have been working hard at this. Daily.

Perhaps a better question is, “Why is this such an important goal for me?” I mean, I already look and feel the best I ever have. I am healthy, and my physical stamina continues to improve such that I can take on harder challenges. Isn’t that enough? Why does this number have so much power?

The answer is a fairly simple one, while at the same time being deeply emotional. One-derland is such a play on words, as if getting there will mean I’ve arrived in a magical world. But I know the truth: it will be the same world on the day I get to One-derland that it is today. However, my weight will, for the first time in literally decades, be back in the ballpark of normal. Not where the standard charts say I should be for my height and age, but in the same century as normal. I was thrilled when I left the 300’s behind. But it has been a long, long journey to leave the 200’s behind. I just want to finally get there. I know the journey won’t be over, but most journeys have places where you stay for a short while just to celebrate having gotten there. My first step into One-derland will be such a place.

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2 responses

13 01 2012
Mindi

Jen, I know EXACTLY how you feel. While I am not nearly as close as you are to one-derland, I know how much power the number on the scale really has. When I get frustrated, I have to remind myself that I am able to do things now that I NEVER thought I could possibly do. I often forget how far I have come and instead focus on the fact that I have been stuck on the same 10 pounds for entirely too long and beat myself up over it. Let me know when you figure out how to get your brain to stop this and how one-derland is!

13 01 2012
jenion

Mindi: Thanks for your comment – I am certain you know what I mean! My whole life is so much better now, and I am grateful every day. But it requires focus to keep going too – hitting the right balance is tricksy! Nothing I can share with you that you don’t already know, but know that I am celebrating your progress with you!

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