Thursday, November 3, 2011

3 11 2011

One time, a number of years ago, I was with three friends checking out the bar scene on Rush Street in Chicago (and by a number of years, I mean I was still in my 20s). None of us was particularly overweight, though I was – as usual – self-conscious about my appearance. As we walked toward a group of four young men, one of them said, “What’s up ladies? Besides your weight.”  I have never forgotten that. And each time I get on the scale and there is an uptick, I am sorry to say that those words come back to me. I have worked hard to develop a more robust self-esteem than I possessed all those years ago. In addition, I can’t really remember conversations I had yesterday. But my psyche has held on to that one cruel comment, and now I own it. Why is it so easy to grab ahold of bludgeons people use against us, and so difficult to let them fall away?

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3 responses

3 11 2011
Jason

It may stick w/ you because you were in a vulnerable position and instead of getting the approval that you desired, you experienced the rejection that you feared. Things like that will always be with us, but please realize that his careless comment says a lot more about him than about you. I’m pretty sure that you would have been bored by him in short order. Doesn’t sound like the kind of guy you can have intellectual intercourse w/ and frankly you are better off for not having really known him. Take it for what it was, a rude throw away comment. So put it in the trash. 🙂

3 11 2011
Stephanie

as long as the only reason you hold on to them is for motivation! – it is odd that we remember the cruelty – but is it that sometimes we treat compliments as untruths and harshness as reality?

4 11 2011
Stephanie Allison

ugh…i totally know what you mean. so hard to shake that stuff off and forget it. keep trying though! you are an inspiration to me!

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