Anticipation

I was wide awake from 3-4 a.m. this morning.¬† I’m not sure what woke me, but once I was awake I was very conscious of my stomach growling.¬† I couldn’t stop thinking about how hungry I was.¬† I was H-U-N-G-R-Y!¬†¬†The more I told myself to stop thinking about it and go to sleep,¬†the less sleepy I felt.¬† My brain was¬†in overdrive, thinking about food, then thinking about the fact that I will be weighing in tomorrow morning, worrying about what the scale would say.¬†¬†¬†After a while, I told myself¬†that I could choose to get up, take a handful of steps to the kitchen, and eat something to stop the stomach pangs.¬† And that thought is what brought home to me the whole point of this challenge — I CAN choose.¬† And what a gift that is — to have abundance when others do not.¬† To be able to choose whether I eat now or eat later or eat at all.¬† These thoughts are what allowed me to relax into the moment and, finally, drift back to sleep.¬† Gratitude, the new sleep aid!

It is now just before 11 p.m.¬† In about seven hours I will be getting out of bed, stepping onto the scale, and uploading a photo of the digital screen so everyone who checks this blog will know how the first week of this challenge has gone.¬† I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little freaked.¬† I don’t have unrealistic expectations, but I’d like the scale to read less than it did on Thanksgiving.¬† I haven’t been weighing myself in between, just to keep from obsession.

I have been excercising daily and tracking my food intake — calories, fat, fiber.¬† I’ve been very healthy, so no one need worry that I’m eating too little.¬† I feel good about week one: and I will try to hold on to that feeling no matter what the scale reads in the morning.¬† Good night, sleep well.