Anticipation

I was wide awake from 3-4 a.m. this morning.  I’m not sure what woke me, but once I was awake I was very conscious of my stomach growling.  I couldn’t stop thinking about how hungry I was.  I was H-U-N-G-R-Y!  The more I told myself to stop thinking about it and go to sleep, the less sleepy I felt.  My brain was in overdrive, thinking about food, then thinking about the fact that I will be weighing in tomorrow morning, worrying about what the scale would say.   After a while, I told myself that I could choose to get up, take a handful of steps to the kitchen, and eat something to stop the stomach pangs.  And that thought is what brought home to me the whole point of this challenge — I CAN choose.  And what a gift that is — to have abundance when others do not.  To be able to choose whether I eat now or eat later or eat at all.  These thoughts are what allowed me to relax into the moment and, finally, drift back to sleep.  Gratitude, the new sleep aid!

It is now just before 11 p.m.  In about seven hours I will be getting out of bed, stepping onto the scale, and uploading a photo of the digital screen so everyone who checks this blog will know how the first week of this challenge has gone.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little freaked.  I don’t have unrealistic expectations, but I’d like the scale to read less than it did on Thanksgiving.  I haven’t been weighing myself in between, just to keep from obsession.

I have been excercising daily and tracking my food intake — calories, fat, fiber.  I’ve been very healthy, so no one need worry that I’m eating too little.  I feel good about week one: and I will try to hold on to that feeling no matter what the scale reads in the morning.  Good night, sleep well.